Who would have known after such a long time, tony would come out of the depths and return with hidden knowledge about nothing. I'm actually quite impressed with how time has changed everything even though nothing may have changed at all, in a sense that of course everything changes but not significantly. Anyway, here we go again.

And yet, how could things just suddenly be so different? If my life was exactly how it was before, could things just so suddenly change? How different are things when my life moves only forward. And yet only forward, isn't that the only way a life can move? No matter what? There is that simple paradox of "If, in life you are always moving forward, and there is that simple possiblity that in life you can be moving backwards, not in a sense of time, but in a sense of... accomplishments perhaps, even, moving back as in digression, or such, then how can someone really moving back in a time where you can only be moving forward." ? Just so suddenly things are different. As you will have read, or already read, i have a new girlfriend, she's incredible. I'd like to know more about her, but hey, time can only move so quickly and so can people as well. As it is now, life is the same, just without so many friends. Friends huh? How many friends can i really think of? Many, yet are they friends, or just the unusual passerby's? I have no idea, and i don't really think i want to think about it that much cause it's just something that will probably bring me down. Ah well. Things are certainly different now. I have chosen a different way to walk down the path of life, in which i have chosen not to be part of something that once dominated my life. In my head i question whether or not that was the best decision but really since it was my decision which i made it is the best for me and i know it in myself.
Other things in my world is that i'm just guessing that i've been settling down a lot more. I'm tired, and this is very sudden. If you saw me a couple months ago from now or whenever, i was just a bundle full of energy and craziness. HA! Oh well, who cares, that was mostly a good entertaining show for my friends, and a way to vent most of my emotions. TOo bad i just haven't realized a lot of things. Actually, perhaps it's more like this, the fact that i did realize what i know i should realize but i don't act on it. Yet, wouldn't it seem more logical that someone would act on something that they had realized, so in fact did i really realize something, or am i feeling myself to believe that i really did realize something when i didn't. But really, in the end, the only one who would know and that is me, and the fact is that i do kno. Oh well, it's not like anyone but me cares and that's how it should be, the fact is that I do care, and maybe my wonderful girlfriend cares, but i just don't want to scare her.
Can you believe it, that in the past everything in my head and life was nuts, i was a ranting fool, and in a sense, i wasn't even as bad as i am now, but in different ways i was worse. What always bothered me was that people always worried about my well being, that i couldn't take care of myself when it came down to things that everyone else feared. Why is that? Why was that? No one really knew what i am capable of. HA! that's another thing, who knows what each other are capable of at all? No one really does. The word, capability, is a word many people just ignore. Why? cause people do not trust others, and when you don't believe that someone is capable of something you don't really trust them. But trust is something that isn't very easily discussed.